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“I deserve an explanation. I deserve an acceptable reason.” 

as Tony Gonzaga uttered her lines, tears started to fall. Again and again I am reminded of all the pain, all the hurt.

It’s been a couple of weeks since we last talked. I don’t really now what happened, I kept on asking myself why and what caused all of this. I can still remember the last time we talked, you never said that you loved me back when I told you that I love you. I should have taken that as a sign, I wanted to ask you if there was something wrong but the fear of hearing the answer got the best of me.

You suddenly left me hanging on thin air, now I don’t really know what to do. The past 8 years I spent with you was the best years of my life, how I decided to become a better person because you inspired me so much. I wanted to give you the best of this world, those things and experiences that you never had when you were growing up. I saw that this was coming, I just chose to make myself believe that there is forever. I held on to the promises we made, we will always hold on to each other.

I never really knew that it would hurt that much, I always thought that after all those things that I’ve gone thru, it would be enough to build myself an armor that would make me immune to all the pain. I guess this is the best time to accept the fact that there is no such thing as forever. I need to start letting go, I need to set my heart free. No matter how difficult this is, I have to do it. After you refused to answer all the emails, iMessages and phone calls, I’m taking everything as a sign that you don’t want to hold on to me anymore.  I was just hoping that you would give me the benefit of knowing what really happened, I thought after all those years of being together you could have given me the benefit of knowing the reason and why.

As I write this post, I feel like my chest is about to explode. You have no idea how difficult it is to pretend that I’m ok and show everyone that nothing is wrong. Beneath all the smiles and laughter, my heart is shattered and I am broken.

I guess what they say is true, all good shows must come to an end.

Once again I quote a movie line, “how do I unlove you?”

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ImageToday marks another milestone in our relationship. I would like to write this post just for you, the person who showed me my real worth, the person that taught me how to love, and be loved. The one who helped me become the person that I am now, my number one supporter, my knight and shimmering armor. My one and only:)

I can clearly remember how you held my hand the first time we met in that bus, how perfectly my hand fits yours, how you smiled and got my number. (ang ganda ko kasi) haha! Bhe, you will always be God’s best gift to me. I just wanna take this time to say sorry for almost giving up on what we had, those times when I wanted to stop loving you because I was hurting so much. Being away from you for the longest time and being the LDR queen of the century almost took its toll on what I prayed for before we met. I know this is really cheesy and all, but I seriously feel that a post that’s dedicated to my special someone is long overdue.

These past few days made me think how lucky I am for meeting you, my “life partner” sabi nga ni andy and kuya mugs:)  I am one of those few that was given the chance to meet the person that I’m supposed to spend my life with. I can’t imagine myself growing old without you, the person that I see myself holding on to for the rest of my life. You have loved me unconditionally, I always thought that only parents can give that kind of love. You proved me wrong:) kasi sa lahat ng bagay, laging ako ang inuuna mo, I am very thankful kasi you never gave up on me, you always made sure to stick to your promise na “walang iwanan” .

It’s going to be another year without you by my side, but I promise that I will hold on just like always. I love you bhe and Happy Anniversary:) I know this is super cheesy and all, pero just this once, I wanna say I love you again:)nabasa mo na papa, I deleted your pic na hihi

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