It’s been a long time since I last created an entry! I am back! Lah. I was so busy with everything that was happening with my life, i forgot about what helped me vent all those pent up emotions. This blog! I qctually wanted to delete this after my last failed relationship. Simply because i never thought I would still be logging on to create new entries.
Life was tough, after my long term relationship, i got into an abusive and hurtful relationship. It drained me, made me doubt qbout myself and my worth. Good thing he cheated! It was my wake up call to stop and walk out the door. It hurt, but it was for the better. I moved on, I had to. It was not that difficult because I chose to forgive, to let go of all the things that hurt. I did not have to carry that emotional baggage with me as I started another journey. Proved that forgiveness is not for the person who hurt you, its for yourself. It set me free.
Life really has it’s way of teaching us lessons. Weirdly, the emotional trauma that I got, paved a way for me to learn to love myself again. I embraced what I thought was ugly, picked up all those broken pieces one at a time, and then slowly put each piece back to it’s rightful place. It was a process that needed to be done. I had to heal and make sure that I’m whole again. Deep inside, I had this fear that I was too damaged and broken to be loved again. Ohhh jiva? Sheket yern.
I decided to just focus on my job, going out, meeting new people and trying new stuff again. Life was starting to get back to normal, ako lang hindi. LOL. 2020 was a major setback for everyone. It all started with Taal, then COVID, it was a major hurdle for all industries, it took my company 5 months to transition to a new set up. We had to work from home. It was a new challenge for everyone, it was hard not being able to go out and be with the people you work with. Hugs and physical touch was something that might end your life. The pandemic took it’s toll on everyone. Coffee dates and catch up sessions became virtual, my friends and I could only talk thru social media. That’s when I spent a lot of time on Instagram and facebook.
It was a typical day, when I saw a close friend of mine post a short video clip with a friend, a super cute friend. LOL. I jokingly replied with “MINE NA LANG” . Landi ko! My friend, being an ass, told the guy about me, hahaha, oh btw, he is straight. He asked the guy to call me via video. My phone rang all of a sudden, when I answered it was him. My heart jumped. Hahahah. Sobrang kilig ko, I remember stopping in the middle of the road because I was panicking. That was just the best 7 minute call of my life. Not a lot of people know, but I have a rule. BIG NO to straight guys, I guess I grew up in an environment where guys just chose to be with gay people for the financial benefits. Sorry na!
After that call, we started talking and messaging, it was the pandemic so we both did not have work, so we had all the time in the world. The short convos and calls became more frequent and then one day, my parents asked me to pick up something from Ortigas, and he was in Mandaluyong. I didn’t really want to pass on the opportunity to actually meet a new “friend”. I was not expecting anything since I knew that he was an LGBT ally. I stood in front of Mcdonalds and then I saw him from afar, he was daaaaaamn hot. hahahha, Nagfreeze and slowdown ang background ko while I was staring at him. That started longer chats, calls, we were getting more comfortable with each other. Then one day, it just happened. We fell in love. It’s been more than 3 years of being together, he stopped calling me his “boyfriend” I am now a husband. Oh Jivaaaaa! so ghorls, Mine lang Mine sa mga bet nyo sa IG. haha! I can truly say that I am happy, ganun pala yun no?
My past made me build walls so high that I never thought that one person will be able to tear it down. I found someone who listens, and never fails to make me feel how blessed I am to have him. I now have someone who makes it a point to remind that I deserve so much love in the world. I am at my happiest. To my person, Thank you. I appreciate you and everything that you do. Thank you for always standing behind me to catch me every time I fall and helping me stand up and become better. I love you. 🙂
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